The only primitive Chuck Norris uses in Java is ABSOLUTE_FEAR. In fact, in his dialect of Java, it is the only legal symbol in the entire language. There are no variables, because Chuck never varies: the pain he causes is constant. There are no control statements, because Chuck is always in control. There are no classes, because Chuck is is a class by himself. And no package has yet been made that could contain Chuck. You can't use protected access modifier as nobody can protect you from Chuck Norris. Even the JVM must never run his code optimized; since his code is already optimal, and this would cause a black hole singularity where the processor used to be.
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